Devil Within Read online

  A. Briar

  Devil Within

  Copyright © 2022 by A. Briar

  All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, scanning, or otherwise without written permission from the publisher. It is illegal to copy this book, post it to a website, or distribute it by any other means without permission.

  This novel is entirely a work of fiction. The names, characters and incidents portrayed in it are the work of the author's imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or localities is entirely coincidental.

  A. Briar asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work.

  A. Briar has no responsibility for the persistence or accuracy of URLs for external or third-party Internet Websites referred to in this publication and does not guarantee that any content on such Websites is, or will remain, accurate or appropriate.

  First edition

  This book was professionally typeset on Reedsy

  Find out more at reedsy.com

  To my family, friends and readers.

  I am more of a beast than human more drunk than sober, more of anarchy than order, more of a scoundrel than a saint, more of a fallen than an angel, but she loved all of my darkness and so I gave her what’s left of my light.

  —Daniel Saint

  Contents

  Acknowledgement

  Title Page

  Soundtrack

  Trigger Warning

  1. The First Rager Of The Year

  2. Hudson

  3. Breaking Up

  4. Make The Right Move

  5. Tension

  6. Nightmares

  7. Bodyshots

  8. Mom

  9. Dressup

  10. Diana

  11. Cassiopeia

  12. Wet

  13. Fun

  14. Oral

  15. Text Messages

  16. Elevator Rides

  17. Another Climax

  18. Promises

  19. When Your Bff Is Angry, Buy Her Food

  20. Madison

  21. Breaking In

  22. The Library

  23. Freaky

  24. The Party

  25. Sex

  26. The Void

  27. The Attic

  28. About Last Night

  29. An Old Friend

  30. Settle The Score

  31. Blackmail

  32. Five Minutes

  33. Parker

  34. The Steakhouse

  35. A Heated Dinner

  36. Ryan

  37. The Diary

  38. Blake

  39. Ryder’s Bar

  40. Hudson

  41. Do You Want To Drive Me Crazy

  42. Girls Night

  43. The Hampton Bays

  44. Matt

  45. The Tour

  46. Mixed Feelings And Alcohol

  47. Stella

  48. Make-up Sex

  49. A Date

  50. The Bonfire

  51. I’ll Never Let You Go

  52. Over Before It Even Began

  Epilogue

  Obsession Within Excerpt

  About the Author

  Acknowledgement

  Devil Within will always have a place close to my heart because it’s my debut novel. I’ve been through so much self-doubt, deciding the future of Devil Within and now here we are.

  I want to thank my family, especially my mom and dad for being so cool for allowing me the freedom to just do what I love and for teaching me that I can achieve my goals in life.

  To Juwairiryyah, Nafeesa, Jo, Safiyyah and Kayla without the endless support of you guys, I wouldn’t be doing this right now. Juwi, thanks for being super honest, for helping me with unfinished ideas, tips and for sitting up late with me while I talked your ears off. Nafi, thanks for encouraging me and the teasing as well as reading my work in its earliest of forms! Jo thanks for always being cute and showing an interest in what your older sister does. You can’t read this book right now, but maybe you can one day. Safiyyah, thank you so much for being the world’s best friend and listening to me rant and go on and on about publishing. Kayla, thank you for being an amazing reader, PA, and supporter! You’re always encouraging me to follow my dreams. I love you guys so much!

  Last but not least, thank you to my readers! Without you, I wouldn’t have done this and that means a lot. For those readers on Wattpad, you guys were there from day one and hopefully, you’re going to stay!

  Title Page

  Soundtrack

  Into It by Chase Atlantic

  Work by Rose Starring

  Zombie by The Cranberries

  Moth To A Flame by The Weeknd

  Slow Down by Chase Atlantic

  Papercuts by MGK

  Ghost by Rose Starring

  Lost In The Fire by The Weeknd

  Fire In My Head by Two Feet

  Time Fades Away by Two Feet

  Dark Side by Bishop Briggs

  You Right by Doja Cat, The Weeknd

  Wicked Games by The Weeknd

  I’m Not In Love by Kelsey Lu

  Swim by Chase Atlantic

  Okay by Chase Atlantic

  Not Afraid Anymore by Halsey

  Deer In Headlights by Sia

  After Hours by The Weeknd

  I Feel Like I’m Drowning by Two Feet

  Trigger Warning

  THIS BOOK IS A DARK ROMANCE AND LINES OF MORALITY ARE BLURRY. DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE NOT OLD ENOUGH AND DO NOT HAVE THE MENTAL CAPACITY TO UNDERSTAND THE ADULT-THEMED CONTENTS OF THIS BOOK. THIS BOOK DEEPLY EXPLORES SOCIOPATHY AND DEPRESSION.

  Disclaimer:

  This story is rated R and contains depictions of mental health, including depression, drug abuse, anxiety, love-bombing, violence, APSD and

  toxic masculinity.

  Intoxicated also contains mature sexual themes, acts of violence and swearing.

  Devil Within is not a dating manual nor are the facts stated in this book to be used for diagnosing someone with ASPD. I have thoroughly researched my work before embarking on this journey by speaking to psychologists as well as real-life sociopaths. All contents of this book are made for enjoyment purposes only.

  1

  The First Rager Of The Year

  Parker

  It’s the first rager of the year.

  Everyone’s there. The anticipation in the air is thick. My phone is still buzzing with notifications from Instagram, Facebook and Twitter—who on earth still uses Twitter?

  Girls are swapping mac lipsticks and fresh mints, while guys open the kegs, discreetly swap drugs and lace the large, red bowl of fruity punch with more rum. The drunker the freshman girls are, the easier they are to sleep with. It’s standard college fuckery.

  “Jeez, you’d think it’s Spring Break already,” my best friend, Lex, tells me as we move through the mass of warm bodies in the Xi Alpha frat house.

  The swanky frat apartment is off-campus grounds in Manhattan’s Upper West, which means there’s no campus guards and standby police to place any rules. What happens in here, stays in here.

  “I guess people want to really get wasted tonight,” I tell her over the music.

  The theme is Hawaiian Luau and everyone is dressed in their grass skirts, bathing suits and tropical short sleeve shirts with colourful garlands and wreaths of fake flowers.

  The air is heavy with the smell of weed and alcohol, while Megan Thee Stallion’s Hot Girl Summer belts through the stereo system.

  Even though Lex and I are in our Sophomore year at Kensington, we still look like lame freshmen compared to the Senior girls.

  The difference is obvious because the guys are flocking around the senior girls with big boobs, fake tans, dressed in inappropriately short skirts and bikini tops.

  “I thought Ryan was going to be here,” Lex says, scanning the crowds.

  I’m looking around too, but there’s no sign of his longish dirty blonde hair and Wolves football jacket.

  “I don’t think he’s coming,” I tell her, trying not to sound disappointed.

  I check my phone again, but the last thing he told me was that he’s on his way to the party. Tonight is supposed to be the night. The night that I give up my V-card and figuring that we’ve been together for almost 6 months, I thought Ryan would be as eager as I am. Or at least I was.

  “Oh my God,” Lex breathes, staring at her phone screen with her mouth wide open.

  Her phone pings with three more notifications and I try to peek into her screen.

  “What is it?” I ask.

  Her brows are furrowed and her mouth is still hanging open as she eventually hands me her phone. It’s Ryan’s Instagram with one new story added a few seconds ago.

  The signal strength is bad, but I wait as it loads the video. A sickening feeling enters my gut and I watch as the video starts.

  It’s Ryan at a club and the person filming the video is laughing hysterically, causing the hand that they’re filming with to shake, but the content of the video is crystal clear.

  Ryan grabs a young girls ass and dances with her. He turns to the camera and makes disgusting tongue movements before the video cuts off.

  “Parker—” Lex begins.

  I hand her the phone back and quickly turn away, trying to get deeper into the crowds. My face heats up with embarrassment as tears blur my vision.

  “Parker!” Lex calls over the music, but I don’t listen to her.

&nbs
p; At first, I only see red. I want to smash something or punch someone really hard. Bitterness courses through my veins.

  One year. I spent one fucking year, telling myself that Ryan’s the one when he is clearly looking elsewhere. How could I be so stupid?

  Someone is serving some of that fruity punch on a tray so I grab a red solo cup that’s filled to the brim and chug it back, ignoring the vicious burn of rum that travels down my throat.

  In no time, I’m on my second cup, but I take it easy this time as I walk through the frat house, stumbling as I walk over someone that’s passed out on the floor. At least they’re having a better night than I am.

  Friends, by Chase Atlantic, starts playing and I hear people cheering in the living room.

  Girls are parading at the table and people are randomly taking body shots.

  Hot tears start to run down my cheeks and I swipe them away angrily as I try to break free from the throngs of people.

  That’s when I see him. He’s looking around the crowd while leaning against the pool table in casual jeans that cover his long legs, a white t-shirt that spreads across his broad chest and a thin light-blue denim jacket. My breath catches when he turns and makes direct eye contact with me. He lifts his beer bottle to full his lips and takes a sip, his dark gaze fixed on me.

  He’s fucking gorgeous. Inky black hair that’s tousled in a sexy, chaotic way. His narrow eyes are framed by elegant eyebrows and his nose is a slender model’s nose. With that well-structured jawline, he could easily be picked up by any modelling agency in New York.

  He looks hotter than half the guys here, but it isn’t just his looks. There’s something else about him that draws me in and I can’t point out what exactly. Maybe it’s his stare. It’s slightly unnerving like he’s staring right through me.

  Someone bumps into me from behind and I fall flat against my face, drenched in my drink and I want the ground to swallow me up immediately. Could this night get any worse?

  “Shit!” I mutter and quickly try to stand up, ignoring the laughs from the other students surrounding me.

  “Need a hand?”

  I look up to see the handsome guy standing above me, holding his large hand out. His face is blank and I’m not sure if this is a joke because he’s definitely a senior and there’s no way he would be talking to a sophomore.

  I take his hand and he helps me up as everyone else around us starts to disperse back into the party.

  “You’re crying. Are you okay?” he asks, his voice is smooth, but dangerously husky at the same time, sending a hot sensation to my clit.

  The denim shorts and navy cropped top I’m wearing is hardly going to be ruined. Other than facing eternal mortification, I am unscathed.

  “I’m fine,” I say, wiping my hands on the ends of my shorts. “Thanks.”

  He steps closer and I look up at him confused as to what he’s doing, but he’s just stepping out of the way. There are so many people and not much space to move around.

  “Don’t mention it,” he says as his eyes give me a quick once over. God his eyes are so beautiful up close, I think. It’s too dark to see their actual colour, but they’re cat-like with sweeping eyelashes. They’re prettier than mine.

  “I’m Hudson.”

  “I’m Parker,” I tell him over the music.

  Someone pushes past Hudson and he presses into me, allowing me to breathe in his warm, spicy scent. He places his palm against my waist, stares down at me for a second and I hold my breath before he drops his hand.

  “Parker?” he asks, his eyes wandering the crowd, before glancing down at me again. “I’ve never seen you around before. What’s your last name?”

  “Kelleher. I’m a sophomore.”

  “Cool.”

  “Look, I really have to go,” I tell Hudson, not seeing much of a point to the conversation any more.

  I still have a cheating boyfriend to deal with and right now it’s more important than talking to a hot senior.

  He nods and steps away from me. “Maybe I’ll see you around, Parker.”

  I nod back and give him a small smile, before turning away and going back the way I came to find Lex.

  I doubted that I’d be seeing Hudson again. If only I knew how wrong I was.

  2

  Hudson

  Hudson

  My apartment is cold and dark when I arrive. Outrageous parties aren’t something that I enjoy unless I am looking for some fun.

  I toss my denim shirt over one of the couches and decide to leave the lights off as I head straight for my bedroom.

  There is something peaceful about being alone in the dark. Here, in the darkness, I don’t have to pretend to be anyone else. My mask can come off and I’m just me again.

  As soon as my body hits the soft quilts of my bed, sleep pulls at my eyes, but I can’t sleep just yet. I have some exploring to do.

  Parker Kelleher.

  When I first laid eyes on her, I wanted to know who she was right away. How could a sophomore like her escape my attention?

  I pull out my phone and begin by opening up my Instagram. Parker’s profile comes up with one quick search. Six hundred followers, ten follows and over a thousand posts. She’s social and it looks like she loves the limelight from all those selfies.

  Her bio states that she is a sophomore English Lit student at Kensington with a #SaveTheEarth underneath. Typical.

  Resting my head on my arm, I go into several of her photos and zoom in with my index and forefinger. The look of innocence on her face is so evident and it fascinates me.

  Other than her aesthetic posts, there is nothing much I can find, so I turn to Facebook: the place where most people innocently project their entire lives.

  Parker’s profile comes up here too. 3957 friends, 900 followers and a decent amount of lovers on her latest post. It’s a picture of her wearing a short yellow sundress and it reveals enough to get my blood pumping.

  My dick hardens as my eyes travel over her deep neckline. Her breasts aren’t that big but petite and don’t leave much to the imagination as she leans over in the picture.

  Her long legs have a golden tone to them and her hair is a golden blonde that falls against her waist. She’s beyond sexy.

  Those dark grey eyes of hers. I can imagine her on her knees before me, looking up at me through those dark grey eyes.

  If I was going to make any kind of move, I need all the details I can get first, so I click on her info page.

  Parker is 20. She was born on the 7th of February 2000. As I scroll further down the page, I discover a list of other details that she’d stated in her bio. She wants to help save the planet, she’s a clean freak—and judging from her neat photos, she probably is—she also really loves Marvel movies and sappy romances.

  Emily Brontë’s Wuthering Heights novel is something that she lives and breathes for.

  Of course, it isn’t enough information on her. I’d have to pay someone from the IT department to get into student archives. But money is something I have, so that isn’t a problem. What I don’t have though is time and the capacity to make any mistakes. I’d like to get to know Parker very well.

  I need to be careful about this, but for now, other things need attention. My dick is still hard, so I jerk off into the early hours of the morning while imagining Parker riding me. Her blonde hair tumbling around her shoulders and over her breasts as she moves up and down.

  A groan escapes my lips as I come, and I come harder than ever before until I am left with beads of sweat covering my body and my breathing is ragged.

  I relax my head against the pillows and stare up at the ceiling until sleep finally comes to me. As I fall asleep, my plan starts to form. I will get her one way or the other.